It's 0500 and I'm awake.
Last night, at dinner, I talked a little about what happened. At the time, I felt okay. But I woke up an hour ago all sorts of triggered and distressed and disregulated. My body doesn't know that this happened a long time ago - and isn't happening right now. I have a hard time talking it down because my brain isn't convinced that I'm safe either - that I'm not being monitored, that there isn't some new horrible surprise ready to fuck up the little bit of security I've built here.
I want there to be a time when I'm not so upset by this.
