It was August 18, one month ago, that I wrote to "S" and stopped everything. I do not believe, even now, that there will ever be anyone else. But it was too dark inside to continue as I had done for nearly a year: Always believing that he would have the strength and courage to come for me. But he did not come and he will not come. Acknowledge that truth, my soul.
I am safer now than a month ago. The dark impulse has left me, but I feel it breathing in the shadows still. I try not to invite it in because I don't think that I will be able to fight it a second time.
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