Paris. Sans Ghosts.

I visited Sacre Coeur today.
The sun was bright and beautiful. There is a merry-go-round in Montmartre as you approach the Basilica. On the lawn, on the steep hill, people sat and sprawled, eating baguettes, and smiling.
I called Corinne as I climbed up the stairs. It was the first time we've spoken since I left the States. I wanted to tell her in the good news. I wanted to tell her about my work in Lyon where the spark I've carried burst into a flame.
I meant to visit this place years ago, when Sjors asked me to come to Rheim. It was the last time he treated me like a human because it became too inconvenient for him after that. I'd been worried about my personal state of mind, so I decided to make the trip about more than him. I decided to meet Sjors in Rheim, and then spend the following night in Paris. I booked a hotel near Sacre Coeur. But, when we were together in Rheim, Sjors told me that he might return the following day. So I waited in Rheim, throughout a hellish day. But he never came. I paid for the hotel in Paris. And a shit-hole hotel in Rheim at the same time. And so Paris waited again.
I've been with Sjors in Paris, at Christmas time. So I was worried at the ghosts might follow me here. They are persistent after all.
But I am not haunted.
Today, I knelt in the cathedral, and thanked God for my release. I didn't think the pain would ever stop. But it was quiet. There is a calm here. I do not fight today.