Completed task

I spent the weekend at Eve's house, in the growing cold of a Pennsylvania autumn. The trees had not changed out of their summer dresses yet, but the bright green leaves grew wan, and the edges were touched with reds and yellows. At night, in the big old mansion, I froze. The ghosts kept me company in the upstairs room, watching as I hashed out the details of the February 2011 trip to Stuttgart with Sjors, and then reviewed the patent examiner's comments, my fingers like icicles on the keyboard.

To say that I am a person in transition is an understatement. I have not lost my integrity or drive, but my purpose has been stymied. Both professionally and personally, I have paid a dear price for MIVD's actions and Sjors' complicity and I live in a sort of limbo. I am further from the side of ghosts than I was in the late summer of 2011, but this dormancy sets a different sort of ache in my belly. I am pregnant with ideas and desires, and I cannot deliver. I preach patience, and dedicate myself to compiling histories and notes, weaving projects together, spurred on a little more every time I see you there.

I rode my bicycle in Saturday's race. Today, I finished my response to the patent examiner's review. Every day, I edge a little further on. Am I approaching the shore, or paddling futher into the ocean?