It's been a fight at work. How do I always end up here? Stumble on the unethical and illegal actions of other people and have to decide how to navigate the terrain. Now, of course. I'm more worried. With so many bridges exploded and burned to ash behind me I need to find a way to keep what I have. Once you let it be a "fight" everyone has lost anyway.
But I'm exhausted. The working conditions are excessively harsh and the hours are long and they leave me fried. I have no time or energy to do anything else. During the weekends I spend my time sleeping and pulling out of the ugly funk. I can't write or paint. I'm just tired.
Fortunately for me, there's Willem. I derive such comfort from having him in my life. He's edged so slowly and carefully into my daily routine, I hardly noticed at first. Now he's a permanent feature. I've been alone and had become suspicious and set in my ways. I am, of course, too fucked up by what Sjors did to be able to attach normally. Is it any surprise I have trust issues? But he stands there, touches me gently on the back, the arm, the shoulder, and sorts through the difficult, monotonous, or sad things in my life, and manages them.
Now its Friday night. Willem is out fishing with his friends and I'm tired and ready for rest.
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