At The Close

I never betrayed you. I never harmed you. I never gave your name.

Your organization told lies about me and, today, I lost my job for it.

I have done so much good in Africa. I have built programs and friendships. There is so much I have left to offer. So many things left to do. I am stopped. 

They have taken everything now. They violated my privacy, they invaded my life because of you, and you did not stand up to them to protect me. You lied to me. So many times. For more than a year, you wrote cruel and terrible messages to the person you once cherished. You stood with them against me. 

You knew that what we had was real. It was the only thing in the world worth fighting for. I would have fought for you until the end. I would have paid any price for you.

Now, I have paid every price. 

This loss of position, of all the work I do, causes me such pain. But it is small compared to the pain I have felt for years by the separation from the man who was my soul's mate; the pain you have caused by your betrayal and lies; and the pain in seeing you become a lesser man than you ought to have been.

You lied to me. You betrayed me. You betrayed us. You promised me that you would end your career with them, that you would end your false marriage, that you would be with me and protect me, that we would have children together, and tat we would be together until we were 85. At the first test of your love, you surrendered everything. You broke your promises to me. You chose them. Why? 

It is too late for us. But it may not be too late for you. Be the man you were meant to be. Stop acting out of fear. You will wake up one day and find that you are an old man who never chose the right battles. You told me once that you are happy because you can compromise. You were wrong. You will hate yourself for your cowardice. Do not compromise the truth for your comfort or for the good opinion of others. Fight them. Fight for the things that matter. Even if your sons and parents hate you. Even if you lose your job and the respect of your Navy. Better that they hate the truth than love the lie. 

Or fucking die trying. 

You will not hear from me again. I am finished.